men’s magazine

My Thoughts…

Just recently, I saw on the news that the most famous “men’s magazine” in the face of the planet reached the Philippines. As a Christian… as a woman… as a feminist… I can’t help to react violently on this. The leading men’s magazine (FHM) in the country has the largest circulation which is 67%. (That is according to Summit’s website). Surely Playboy will thump that vast circulation. And that can’t be good. I’m not rooting for FHM, just to clarify. It’s disturbing enough to have that kind of magazine in a (only) Christian nation in Asia. Then, Playboy enters the scene… the more explicit, more graphic magazine that will capture the men’s attention and wallets!

First of all, these kinds of magazine don’t care who purchases and reads their magazine. They don’t care if the readers are adults or minors. They don’t care about the possibility that they can pollute innocent minds. All they care about that their profits.

They distort women’s image. They present women as toys. Such things insinuate that women are mere objects of desire. They portray women as a piece of meat. They give men the wrong notion that women are to be fantasized not respected; be used instead of loved. They exploit women! They mislead women in the wrong thinking hat it’s pleasurable to be fantasized by men… that it’s good to be a sex object… They inculcate to women’s mind that they are created to fulfill men’s fantasies! Talk about deceit!

I’m well aware of that these women aren’t forced to do this; and that what makes it more disheartening. It is sometimes understandable why some men disrespect women (It is not excusable just understandable, ok?!). How can a woman expect men to respect her if she herself doesn’t respect own self? Clichéd, but true: Respect is something earned.

I just don’t understand why a woman would use her body. A woman shouldn’t capitalize on her body; instead she should have respect for herself, cultivate her intelligence and talent, improve herself, and know her worth.

Recount 4

04/04/08

I slept late the night before because I cooked their lunch for the next day. The meat needed to be tenderized well that was why it took that long. Good thing, I was able to wake up early. I was able to go to church early…so early I had the chance to sit at the front. There were three not-so-good things happened to me that day. Church ended later than usual. Buses’ schedule is irregular during Fridays, so I waited too long for the bus. But before that, on my way to the bus station… hmm… a bird pooped on my head…well not exactly on my head…thank goodness! On my umbrella! I felt how it splat on my umbrella. I couldn’t fold my umbrella because poop was all over it. eeew! So I decided to take a cab… but I waited for 1 and a half hours but no sign of cab or bus. Just when I was about to die from dehydration, a jam-packed bus arrived. It was almost 3pm and I haven’t eaten breakfast yet. I was so hungry. I wanted to go home badly, but I dropped by to the ATM booth to withdraw my salary. In my shock, there was a deduction in my salary. I thought that it could be due auto debit for my credit card, but that was impossible because I didn’t use it. So, I just went home perplexed, annoyed and sweating like a pig!

04/05/08

I just stayed home as always. I spent my day thinking if I should take my vacation or not. I need to decide soon. I wish things are that easy…but there aren’t … there so many things that I should take in consideration. I think of the unnecessary expenses that can prolong my stay here… that can delay my plans. I don’t know! I really want to take a break. I need a rest! But I also fear that once I set foot on my homeland, I would not want to come back here again… that can’t be! I need to go back… but what if I would not want to? Ayayay…

04/06/08

I called my bank early in the morning to verify what was the deduction for. They informed me that it was due to my account’s maintaining balance of DHS 1,000! I told the customer rep. that my account is a payroll account and it shouldn’t have a maintaining balance. They informed me that my company has an agreement with them… I was so infuriated. I called the accounts people, complained about it. They said that they didn’t know about it… later that afternoon, it turned out that I wasn’t the only one. Apparently there were numerous people who experienced it. My friend at the office told me that her salary has been like that for a year now. She didn’t bother telling the accounts people because she thought that they couldn’t do anything about it, so why bother… Well, me, I’d bother, I’ll nag them to do something about it. I won’t stop until they settle this!

04/07/08

It amazed me how I do not regret anything I did to this person. Technically I didn’t do anything wrong… but I knew to myself that what I did was not right… nonetheless…it wasn’t wrong… I’m contradicting myself again…hehe… I knew I hurt this person. I also knew to myself that I didn’t do it on purpose. Still, I felt so guilty for a while. But then I came to a realization that I shouldn’t feel that way… I realized that I deserved much better than that. Even if the result of my decision did not go well. I don’t regret a thing… I don’t even consider it as a mistake. The truth is, I see it as one of the best things ever happened to me. Every time I talk to this person I get to be reminded how great my decision was.

Also that day…

A girl friend told me that she heard that he got promoted. I was very glad to learn that. I know how he wanted and worked hard for that. I really wish I can tell him how happy I am for him…

04/08/08

The account department hasn’t figured out what to do with the maintaining balance problem… What boiled my blood was that they keep on insisting that they didn’t know anything about it. That’s absolutely crap! This has been going on for a year to some employees…how could they not know about it?! Since ATM machine doesn’t give out cash below 50… it automatically means that DHS 100 is taken away from us every month! This isn’t just about money. This is about justice! Argh!

TODAY

When I woke up I saw a missed call from my lolo in the Philippines. I was baffled and a little worried. I tried calling him when I got to the office but he wasn’t answering his phone. I hoped there is no problem or nothing bad happened…that he just accidentally dialed my number… but I tried calling him again while I was writing this… it turned out that he had a problem with the bank. He said he owes the bank PHP200K and if he will not be able to pay the bank in due time, it will take possession of his properties…The properties that he worked so hard for years… I told my lolo the truth, that even if I wanted to, I couldn’t help him. He understood and we just went on with our conversation. I felt really, really awful. I love my lolo… He is old… At his age, he shouldn’t be going through that kind of crisis anymore.

I feel bad because I can’t do anything to help him…even if I want to, I cannot do anything. I’m somehow angry at my relatives, that up to this point, that all of them are married and have kids, they’re still depending on my lolo. For pit’s sake! My lolo is almost 80! My lolo told me that he has been doing all he could to save his property so that when he leaves us, something will remain with us… because he knows my other relatives…my cousins…including my father have nowhere else to go. It rips me up inside! I pity my lolo…but I can’t help to blame him…because he tolerated these people to lean on him… He helped them so much in a way that he taught them to rely on him forever… he helped them so much that they didn’t learn to stand on their own feet.

I don’t want this to happen to me…

While I was typing this…something happened here at the office… (yeah, that’s right! I’m writing my blog entries here at the office)… She collapsed. But early this morning we’re doing our daily talk about what’s going on here at work. She was so appalled about the shabby treatments to her/us. She said, which I totally agreed, that our boss has been so unfair to us. With all the pressure from her family back home, stress from work, annoyance with our officemates, the debts in the bank, loan, credit cards, she finally had it…she had breakdown. She felt that her chest tightened. She could hardly breathe. Every panicked because she was shivering…since none of us knew anything about fist aids… We called an ambulance. While we’re waiting for it, we tried calming her… In my shock, the very cause of her breakdown, went close to her, held her hands tightly and stroked her hair. She even rubbed her back and chest. I knew how much she hated her. Since she couldn’t move she couldn’t do anything about it. But my goodness, in my head, I really wanted to shout and tell her to take her hands off my friend! I was so disgusted by her hypocritical act. There were many people watching, our boss was there, and there she came, acting like a caring mother to her. We all know she is a backbiter. We all know what she’s been doing behind our backs. I really don’t want this to happen to me… foremost, to be held by someone I detest! And then of course, I don’t want to just breakdown like that. She’s been keeping it all inside her…all the pressures, problems and stress. She once told me that I reminded her of her young self. Someone who is so preoccupied with family matters…someone who is leaned on by people, someone who gives and gives, and doesn’t complain…someone who says she is fine but in reality, she is not. Surely, I don’t want to breakdown one of these days. But above anything else, I never want someone who backbites me touch even the tip of my fingers!