My obsession and holidays!

I’m in my best mood to write whenever anger or sadness envelops me. I mostly draw my urge to write from them. But (Luckily) I haven’t felt either of them lately so I don’t have a driving force to endlessly blab. In spite of that, I feel the need to write anything here regardless of what I feel…I owe myself an entry for my future reference especially now, it’s the holidays.

 

Just to clarify, I’m not in euphoria. I mean, I can’t say that I’m happy. Distracted is probably the appropriate word for it. Few things are keeping me from feeling those ‘feelings’… I should be happy about that, but one of the things that distract me is starting to grow into obsession. Well, I’m a naturally obsessive person. Although, I don’t exactly enjoy obsessing about something (because it’s very consuming for me)… I’m allowing myself to drown… I deluge myself with thoughts of my obsession. It’s not everyday that I feel passionate about something other than my frustrations…I don’t this can be a good thing…oh well, enough of this crap already! I’ll talk about my holidays…

I’ve spent 3 Christmases here straight in a row… if I were still like myself 2years ago, I would have wallowed in depression by now! Hahaha…But I knew better than that. God made me see what real Christmas is. Sounds cheesy, but true… Wryly enough, being away from my country, family — basically away from home taught me what Christmas is really all about. Of course, spending Christmas at home would be so lovely. But honestly speaking, it’s not that a big issue for me where to spend it, as long as God is with me.

diary entry 24: rollercoaster again

I intentionally didn’t write here on my blog for some time because I felt that I wasn’t exactly in a somber state of mind. So instead of writing things that I might regret someday, I’ve thought of refraining from writing from the meantime. And besides, I’ve been busy making myself busy, tricking my mind I have some more important things to do than to blog. hahaha

I had a 5day off…and those days weren’t exactly productive. I spent most my time online, meaning I hadn’t so much to do offline. I don’t know, maybe I’m being too idealistic on how my life should be… Argh! Here I go again! I don’t even have something to write here. I can’t recount all the things that happened to me in the past days. As far as I could remember, I was in a roller coaster ride again…from anxiety to confusion, confusion to sadness, sadness to hopefulness, hopefulness to excitement, excitement to happiness, happiness to gratefulness, and for sure anytime now I would be back on anxiety.