the longest journey begins with a single step

I had a long weekend.  There were so many things I needed to take in, chew and digest in just two days. First off, my sister was laid off. The solution to that problem is not as simple as her getting a new job. It’s needless to say that economy is worsening by the day. Finding jobs here is not that easy unlike before. Companies are shutting down left and right. In spite of that, I still think that she would eventually find a new job. However, I also think that it would take time before she does. No job, of course means no money. She worries about how she would pay her loans and credit cards. I don’t earn that much. I can only pay for her rent and food for the meantime. That’s our big problem now. The bigger is we had an argument a day after she was laid off. We exchanged harsh words and still not talking to each other to this day. I know this isn’t the right time for us not to talk to each other. We need to stick together to find ways to survive. I knew she was going through something and I should’ve just held my tongue as I always did. But I could take it no longer. It was like I exploded. I said something that she misconstrued as condescending. I didn’t regret saying it for it was the truth. I just felt so horrible for making her feel terrible because she misinterpreted what said…but I’m not sorry for what I said itself, though.

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At the moment, I’m holding on to my faith and God’s promises.  Surprisingly I’m handling things well. I’m not as downcast as used to be whenever problem strikes. I can even laugh and greet people with a sincere smile. Maybe I haven’t fully realized the gravity of our problem yet. Maybe I’ve just grown. I don’t know.  I’m just praying hard and dealing with each problem at a time. I’m trying not to worry about what would happen to us if my sister wouldn’t find a job in 2-3 months. My mom doesn’t have a work, I’m pretty sure she’d be affected by this…my savings for my studies won’t be spared… so on and so forth. But I try to shrug those thoughts off. I don’t want to be overwhelmed such worries otherwise I’d fall apart. More than anytime, I should be strong now. With God’s help, I know I can endure this…again.  I’ll just keep on holding on to the truth that God only gives me what I can bear.