the longest journey begins with a single step

There hasn’t been any outcome from our prospective business. It’s been stagnant since the holidays. Expectedly so, we haven’t sent the business proposal to our investors. We’ve been quite busy lately.  But our goal is to send it sooner before investors completely change their mind considering the economic meltdown and all. While I’m at that…I’m starting to get worried. With the recession going on, it’s common to be anxious about losing one’s job. But as for me, I don’t fear losing this job…for myself. As I always say that if I were only thinking of my sake, I would have resigned along time ago. But I’m somewhat agitated by its thought for my mom. I’m worried how this could affect her.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who fancies my crush. It turned out that, ladies from work are also mesmerized by his charm. That’s not surprising, though. Who would not be attracted to a tall young handsome blue eyed guy who is at the same time talented and intelligent? Oh well, there’s nothing else to write about him. We barely speak with each other nowadays. We haven’t really had an actual conversation before. But there was always an exchange of casual hellos and how are yous when we ran into each other at the pantry. And I remember a couple of months ago when he was just starting here, I was the one he frequently approached when he had a question or needed something. But now, not even a word. Lately, instead of directly coming up to me, he just relays his message for me to the officeboy. That’s fine, really. But when I’m just a few feet away and can audibly hear him, that’s a little odd. I’m thinking maybe he took offense from my comment weeks before. But that can’t be, as far as I know it’s not of their culture to make a big deal over trivial matters, let alone ‘rubbish’ comments. I don’t know…Perhaps he is just too lazy to stand up and approach me. Well in truth, it doesn’t matter to me if he talks to me or not. Workplace feels less hellish to me since he came.  And I’m fine with simply seeing him around. Besides, I don’t have any intention to act on it. I’m careful on how I act around people from different race because I don’t only represent myself but also my country…I don’t want to add up to the number of pinoys here who tarnish the name of our already disreputable country. Moreover, my feet are on the ground, I know someone as breathtaking as he is wouldn’t notice an average girl like me. The possibility of that is as low as the chances of snowing in the Philippines. I’m like repeating lines from a romance novel again!

The live-in-girlfriend of my ex has been named. Weirdly enough, her name is what mother was supposed to give me. Anyway, in turned out, a friend of mine knows her.  She gave a bit details about her. I didn’t bother to ask any further. I already knew what I have to know. At the beginning when another friend of mine first told me about it, I was a little doubtful. But now when it is already the two of them…I’m fully convinced that in deed he moved on rather quickly. I don’t have a problem with that. I myself have moved as well. But knowing that the person who professed to love you and wanted you to stay had moved on so fast after you left, raises a lot of questions…ah never mind! I just wish him well.  It’s nice to know that I made the best decision after all.