the longest journey begins with a single step

I just recently found out that one way of making yourself accept truths about your circumstances is to say it out loud. Sometimes it isn’t just about of knowing it, but also a matter of accepting and dealing with it. A lot of things have been going round and round inside my head that sometimes I feel that driving me nuts. My best antidote for this is to kick them on a lower level of my subconscious. There are things that you know are true, you don’t let yourself be aware that you know them because you fear that you’re not yet strong enough to deal with them. And if you face them while you’re weak, you know you’d fall apart. Instead of falling apart, you pretend for the meantime that they aren’t there while you gather strength. But they have their way of making their presence known no matter how many times I ignore them. Disregarding them doesn’t make the veracity of their existence less. They are there, they are real, they actually happened. What’s the sense of denying them? It just prolongs your agony. Today, tomorrow, next week… it’s gonna hurt just the same. And you’re not fooling anyone but your own self. So yesterday, when I was alone (of course), I told myself what I needed myself to hear. And it hurt because it felt like reality slapped me to wake me up from my delusion. I had no escape; it came from my own lips. I just had to accept it, deal with it, and live with it. It’s true what they say; truth hurts. But it also true what they say; truth will set you free.