the longest journey begins with a single step

Diary entry 11

05/22/08

      I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing… He is becoming friendlier and friendlier each time we talk…  I wanted to sort things out when I’m already there…  As much as I can I want to avoid talking about personal things with him. We talked too many personal things over YM… And this time I want to make sure to that we would end or settle things in person.     

We went to a bar  late in the evening… They wanted to have a drink or two… I didn’t want to go because I needed to wake up early the next day for church… but they insisted… and, as if I would drink, so I tagged along… hmm… The place was okay… It was a typical bar… most of people were puti, Briton in particular… Goodness me! How do I explain this…hehe… maybe our culture sare different… but the way we observed…medyo corny sila. Yung music, grabe, panahon pa ng lolo ko ata eh…exag…haha… pero yung music luma na talaga, elementary pa ako nun eh… haha… tas, yung sayaw nila, kakaiba rin. haha… but I enjoyed it…I didn’t drink though… but I danced as if I did… haha…maybe I missed partying! It was a lot of fun actually… Being there made me think of something… I write on new entry…

05/23/08

       Without sacrifice there would be n0 success.  If I want to move forward…If I want to grow…If I want to win…  I must be willing to get out of my comfort zone over and over again…I must be brave  to take bigger and bolder steps.

05/24/08

    It’s the first weekend that my sister and I didn’t quarrel… Well, almost… hmm… we had small argument on something few minutes before we went to bed… it wasn’t my fault…and I swear I didn’t start it… I think I never did…pero lagi akong pumapatol… that’s the problem with me… I can’t hold back my impulse. I know it’s normal for siblings to squabble once in a while… I just think that we’re too old for those kinds of petty things… we’re close naman. We tell each other our problems… we share our thoughts… we seek advices from each other… we are always ready when one of us needs help. Pero there is something… I can really pinpoint what it is…pero this is something…would I bother to write it here on my blog if I don’t find it a bit disturbing?

05/25/08

   My housemates’ panicky voices woke me up… they were yelling “Sunog! Sunog! Magsibaba kayo!” … Fresh from the bathroom, my sister told me to get up and bring important things as she clothed herself. I was half awake/asleep so I wasn’t sure what to bring. I took all my important documents from the drawer and put them in my bodybag along with my cellphone and wallet… I took my towel…went to bathroom to take a leak, and slide on my slippers … The smell of the smoke got in my nostril… I could tell it was the smell of burning wires or cables… we took the stairs of course… Outside, several firemen truck, police cars were there… Lots of people were outside… Some, like me, were still on their PJs, some were dripping wet with towels on their heads, some were in their office attire already, and some were cranky, obviously interrupted from their sleep… Thoughts rushed in my heads… This incident made think of many things… (I’m just going to write about them next time…) Surprisingly, after less than 10 minutes, firemen declared the it was safe to come in… hmmm…my sister and friend were nervous… they were thinking of not going to the office just to stay put and see if there something bad would happen…as for me.. I decided not to stay… not because I wanted so badly to go to work…heck! As if that would ever happen! I just thought it was safe already…and besides, an officemate is on leave and I’m in charged for her work… I needed to be there…argh! I resented it though!

In the evening, my sister and I went to our new flat…it’s a few blocks from our place now… the building is new… the flat is spacious…

TODAY:

  I don’t know how long I can last my job… for the nth time, I am grateful to have one…but would it be so great that I do something that I’m good at… I do something that I’m passionate about… My job is as easy as eating peanuts… Plus, I have lots of time to personal stuff…(because my work load is not heavy)… but I really, really don’t like it here… I want to have a work that has to with my forte… something I have vast knowledge about… something challenging… something I enjoy… and the presence of my officemates constantly reminds me how my job sucks…

Hmmm… early this morning…Ate and I had a misunderstanding…Miscommunication…as always… I do want to think that it’s my fault…trust me, I do…but it’s not…most of the time it’s not…